Over the summer, I moved to Victor. The house has a fireplace in the family room. I thought “That’ll be nice this Fall.”  Fall is here, and I just realized I have NO idea what goes into running a fireplace!

I’ve had very little experience with them before.  The first was as a kid. My best friend Dana had a wood stove. It was the main source of heat for the whole house.  That meant that every fall, we lost a Saturday to the woodpile.  The two of us had to lug a couple truck loads of wood down into his basement and stack it.  That’s how every teenage boy wants to spend his day, right?

My mother in law has one, but I only see it around Christmas time, and it’s already going when I get there. The only other fireplace I’ve had ANY responsibility for is at my father in law’s house.  His is different.  If you’re cold, pick up THE REMOTE and turn it up.  When you go to bed, pick up THE REMOTE and turn it off.  I gotta get me one of those.

My fireplace is a good old wood burning fireplace.  I don’t know much about it except that it passed inspection, and the clean out thingy is in my basement.  That’s it. I’m sure I can look up the basics online somewhere. I could also stop into a local showroom and ask a bunch of dumb questions.  I’m afraid of doing that though, because stupid me will walk out holding a receipt with a comma in the dollar amount and a new remote.

I guess what I really need to find out is how much wood will I need for the winter?  How much should it cost?  I’ll probably use it most on the weekends. Do I just get those prepackaged logs at Wegmans?  I might be jumping the gun a little, I haven’t even closed my pool yet.  Maybe I’ll go do that right now. Right after I Google “How to close a pool.”

I LOVE this website… http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Here’s a sample:

Visiting from the land of big shoulders, singer/songwriter Dan Coyle took the Boulder Coffee stage unassuming and barefoot Thursday night. Unassuming I admire, bare feet on stage I don’t get. Anyhow, Coyle fits nicely between folk insight and a clever musicality that avoided minor chords where you’d ordinarily expect them, like when he covered Simon & Garfunkel’s “Homeward Bound.” Perhaps this added to his overall upbeat demeanor and charm. Coyle was pleasant and genuinely shy, but came out strong with the start of each new song. I liked him. Now if the boy would just get some shoes…

Jill McCracken was on when I arrived and worked her guitar percussively as her pretty voice teetered a little out of control in the upper registers. But it was within those moments that I admired her most, as it felt the most genuine. I believed her. Oh, and she wasn’t wearing shoes either. These kids.

This is Debbie… yesterday she wanted to go out with Beck on a date if he and Sugar Lips call it quits! No, they have NOT Broken Up, but I thought you might want to see her

I got a CREEPY e-mail from a listener named Tim. Now I get a lot of e-mails from people asking me an assortment of things and generally speaking, if you do happen to know me well, I’ll talk about almost anything. However, this is just strange.

Here’s his e-mail…

Good Morning Pat,

Congratulations on your recent nuptuals. I really enjoy listing to the
morning show and hearing all the antics that go on. My question is to you,
You have mentioned in the past that you are a “pumper” and when you talk
about your stuff you refer to your manhood as your “penis”! I too love to
call my manhood “penis” I am a proud chronic masturbator and I was wondering
if you are also? Thank you for your time and I look forward to your reply

Now Here’s My Reply… note I am trying to be nice…

LOL what guy isn’t???

Pat the Producer

Here’s his reply to my reply…

Hey Pat,

Thanks for getting back with me so promptly. Yes most men are masturbators!!
I thought there was a time when you indicated that you “pump” or have
pumped, anyway I was just very curious as there is a large group of men (and
internet sites) where men of all types share their need to take masturbation
deeper into bliss and the use of “clinical” terms are often used. I just
thought that you may be one of my like minded buddies. Thanks again for your
reply and I look forward to listing to the Breakfast Buzz on the web, as I
no longer live in Rochester.

CREEPY…

If you live here in Roch, is this not the prototypical Monday?  Dark, rainy, dreary, winds crankin’ around…I am holding onto my toupee right now!  But we all need a dark day every once in awhile, don’t we?  Especially after my weekend forays. It started in the East End Friday with a tour that began at the Sports Page on Monroe, wound thru East Ave. to Matthews, Henry B’s Sagamore Grill and Havana Moes to celebrate our bud Moe’s birthday.  After conquering the East End, Saturday I was off to Homecoming at good ol’ Geneseo State. All my college chums made the return trip to act like they’re smart and successful.  I was lured into Club 41 by the beautfiul alums from the Phi Lamb sorority. These girls are all*stars, led by the vivacious Mary Sue, Patty, Val, Debbie and Sandy.  All the gals who rejected me in my so called “glory days” at Genezero.  Luckily I was surrounded by my personal secret service detail led by Leo and Tammy Cichelli, Joey Zambito, Ray Walker, Rich Kuhn, Ricky Altier, Henry P. Kulick and more.  The varsity team was large and in charge, towing the path from 41 to Kellys Tavern, around the bend to The Idle Hour to be heckled by our girl Kitty, down the hill to the Vital Spot to watch the chaos ensue led by Paul the owner, and finally a pit stop at the legendary Inn Between, where the Basher family, Marty Estruch and Frank Adoninno kept a keen eye on the madness.  There is something about that little town that brings out the best (some would say the worst) in me!  I am already looking forward to my  return there Nov. 7th for the Alumni Hockey Weekend.  I’m predicting a possy of toothless men will take the town over that weekend. Warning to all in Geneseo: you may want to evacuate the village on 11/7.  Lock up the ladies and children for their own protection!

Speaking of Geneseo, our town lost a wonderful woman this weekend when the beautiful Jane Argenta finally gave in to the evils of cancer.  She is a wonderful woman who will be sorely missed by me along with her large group of friends and partners at Dixon-Schwabl media.  I will make the trip south to salute her memory Wed. morning at 10am. God bless Jane and God bless our troops.

Sometimes it all just clicks. All those crucial aspects of self-expression masquerading as entertainment come together and the music transcends style, time, and even ownership. Without getting too touchy-feely here, I gotta say that Dean and Britta’s performance at The Lovin’ Cup Saturday night was a low-key celebration with the band’s hipster narrative, dangerous beauty, and atmospheric bloom. With simply structured songs performed with stoic grace, this band was amazing. It swirled and seethed a bit at times like a junky itch, but the blending of Dean Wareham’s baritone with Britta Phillip’s coquettish contralto lullaby’d and pacified. Both sang a little emotionally distant and casual. It was hypnotic and sonically voluptuous, but not always perfect and pretty – kind of like Jayne Mansfield with a black eye. Dean and Britta proved that extended trips into minor keys can blend and blur the happy with the melancholy almost magically. I left this show changed.

New York City’s Hollands opened the show and played what they call Dutch pop. It was a richly dynamic set a la Wilco, but with more pizzazz. It’s a delicate balance for drummers; the good ones often go unnoticed and the ones that aren’t tend to trample. Not since David King – that maniac that drums for the Bad Plus – have I been so enamored of a drummer. This guy was so tight and understated one moment and thunderocious the next, he drove the band into even further dynamic intrigue and excitement.

Pop/rock superstars Maroon 5 will play RIT’s Gordon Fieldhouse Friday, November 6. Tickets for the 8 p.m. show cost $35, and are now on sale at Ticketmaster. For more information call 232-1900.

Visiting from the land of big shoulders, singer/songwriter Dan Coyle took the Boulder Coffee stage unassuming and barefoot Thursday night. Unassuming I admire, bare feet on stage I don’t get. Anyhow, Coyle fits nicely between folk insight and a clever musicality that avoided minor chords where you’d ordinarily expect them, like when he covered Simon & Garfunkel’s “Homeward Bound.” Perhaps this added to his overall upbeat demeanor and charm. Coyle was pleasant and genuinely shy, but came out strong with the start of each new song. I liked him. Now if the boy would just get some shoes…

Jill McCracken was on when I first arrived and was percussively working at her guitar as her pretty voice teetered a little out of control in the upper registers. But it was within those moments that I admired her most, as it felt the most genuine. I believed her. Oh, and she wasn’t wearing shoes either. These kids…

 ESL Sports Centre Hosts World Champion USA Paralympic Ice Hockey Team and exhibitions with Team Japan 

WHAT:            The ESL Sports Centre is now the official training site of the USA Paralympic Ice Hockey Team and will be hosting three game exhibitions with the Japanese Paralympic team as both teams train for the 2010 Paralympics. 

WHEN/WHERE:

·         Open Practices:  Thursday, Friday and Saturday 11am

         Games: Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings at 7pm 

All practices and exhibition games to be played at the ESL Sports Centre on the MCC campus: 2700 Brighton-Henrietta Townline Road, Rochester, NY 14623 

ABOUT:     

USA Paralympic Team: Sled hockey was designed in an effort to allow participants with physical disabilities to play ice hockey.  It is currently one of the most popular sports in the Paraylmpic games.  The USA team includes 18 players and they are current World Champions!  www.usahockey.com 

When you have some extra time this weekend, shoot over to ESL in Brighton and witness these athletes for yourself. Just watch their faces to see the determination and fun they are experiencing.  Now here’s 2 more events you may want to check out this weekend:

Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Rochester will be hosing “Celebrate the Seasons of NY: A Cooking and Wine Odyssey” Saturday in Canandaigua. Lots of great Finger Lakes wine and delicious food cooked by celeb chefs will be served.

WHEN:     6 to 10 p.m. on Saturday, September 26^th

WHERE: New York Wine & Culinary Center, 800 South Main Street, Canandaigua, New York

COST:     $125 per person, $225 per couple. To purchase tickets, call (585) 442-2250 or online at www.BeABig.com.

 For over 105 years, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Rochester has helped children reach their potential through professionally supported, one-to-one relationships that provide measurable impact. Over the past 12 months, the organization has served 600 children in Monroe, Wayne, Ontario, Genesee, Yates, Livingston, Orleans and Wyoming counties. 

 And finally, Scotty’s Ride, a Ride to Remember Camp Good Days camper Scotty Toombs wil be held to benefit the Camp this Saturday around Keuka Lake, beginning and ending at Camp Good Days Recreational Facility at 58 West Lake Rd. in Branchport.  Call the Camp at 624.5555 or or go on-line to www.campgooddays.org for info or to register.  God bless all the people involved in all these worthwhile events and God bless our troops.