I spent Christmas in Daytona. Let me tell you, I was crying when I left the snow and entered 80 degree sunny weather. Ha!

Many of you are probably getting in the holiday spirit as we are a few days from Christmas. I am not one of you I am sorry to report.

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. When I was a kid I loved it for obvious reasons: the toys!!! Each year I aged though I realized I loved it so much because my mother always made it special. To her, Christmas was the one time every year where she would spoil everyone she was close to, especially me. She even spoiled people she barely new; she was just that kind of woman.

My mom was always obsessed with convincing me that Santa was real. As embarrassing as this may seem, she had me going until I was probably 12 or 13. That doesn’t embarrass me anymore because that was just her way of trying to keep me in the spirit.

My mom was probably the most giving person I have ever known. Anyone who knew her will attest to that without question.

1 year ago today, December 19th, my mother lost a very short battle with pancreatic cancer. She was 56, and died the day before her 57th birthday. It was on this day 1 year ago that the magic that is this holiday season officially ended for me. Without mom, Christmas is nothing… Especially seeing I am not religious. Please, keep your “have faith” comments. Your prayers are greatly appreciated, but keep them to yourselves.

I am reminded now of that God awful day: the early morning phone call, the mad dash back to Buffalo, the ER, and her passing. It’s like it just happened 5 seconds ago. In the pit of my throat is the feeling of anguish and in my stomach there is so much pain I feel like I’m being squeezed to death.

Today my family feels it to. My mother made this time very special for all of us and the reality of her being gone has had a year to become real. This holiday I imagine they feel my mother’s loss more than last year. I know I do.

I leave for Daytona Beach, Florida tomorrow to spend my first holiday away from my family and Western New York.  I am excited, to be honest, because I can’t wait to go somewhere that can at least take my mind off of it for 1 second, though it will only be that. Everything is different, and it sucks.

It sucks even more that this time of year, a time my mother worked so hard to make special, is now tainted by her tragic and sudden death. This angers me more than anything. She would hate (and does hate) that we mourn her today. She hates that Christmas is going to be hard for everyone. She hates that my step dad, my aunt, and myself simply are not in the holiday mood. She hates that we would spend one second reflecting on her death and not on moving forward with our lives. Sorry mom, I can’t help it, even with you dancing around in my head making that little hand gesture and telling me, “Jesus Christ, knock it off; quit moping!”

I’m sorry mom, but you were too big a part of so many of our lives that we can not help what we do. So I’ll make you a deal, just between you and me, mom. Next year I promise I’ll take the reigns, and bring our family back together. I’ll put the past behind me and start new memories for us all. I’ll do my very best to live up to your standards, and be as selfless and giving as you were, though I probably will not come nearly close enough. I’ll remember your smile as you handed me another present on Christmas morning and not the how looked in the ER when you passed. I’ll make new memories, and remember the endless good that you gave us

This year, though, I can’t do it. I hope you can forgive me, and all of us. Silly thing is I know you do. That’s how amazing you are.

I love you Mom, Merry Christmas.

Today I write my final post of 2008.  I will be heading out tomorrow on holiday break after going through quite a year.  One year ago today, I was on a sabbatical from the radio biz. At that time, I wasn’t quite sure what my next step would be.  I was offered some wonderful opportunities , both here in Rochester and out of state. It was certainly flattering to know that after enjoying almost 21 years at the same place (98PXY), there were some new doors opening.  I decided to sit back and take my time picking my next stop.  It was the first time since I was 16 years old that I did not have a job to report to.  I, in my small pea-sized brain felt that the right thing to do would be to sit back, take some time off and enjoy life while deciding my fate.  To be honest, it was the best thing I could do.  Rather than just jump at the first chance, I got to really enjoy life.  I spent time with buddies in the Carolinas, Southern California and all over NY state.  It was a truly rewarding time for me, one I never saw coming.  I’m really thankful for the start of ‘08.

Finally, I made my decision and am glad for it.  Obviously you know where I ended up.  And being at 98.9 the Buzz has been a great move.  Working with great people here, like Kimberly & Beck, Pat the Producer, Dem Jones, all the fantastic support people off the air, my radio brothers and sisters at the BEE, WCMF and 98PXY….well, it’s worked out perfectly.  There are so many people here in this building that I worked with at various stations over the years…well it certainly created a new comfort zone for me.  I am thankful to them for being so accomodating to me and making me feel part of the team.   I wish each and every one of them a very safe and happy holiday season!

To my faithful listeners here at the Buzz, THANK YOU for a great 9 months (hey, we could have a baby together)!  I know there were some people who probably thought..”why the hell did the Buzz hire a Top 40 guy?”  Good question.  Well, it turns out that I’ve been hooked on Buzz music my whole life.  When I was riding around in my buddies cars in Canandaigua as a kid, guys like Dino, Art Fish, Meathy, Blue Whale, Tyrone (yeah, all my friends have weird nicknames) John Fuller, Joel and Mike Bement…we were all listening to Bruce, Aerosmith, U2, The Police, Pink Floyd…ya know, all the stuff I’m lucky enough to play here everyday. If I was a real deep thinker (which I’m not), I’d almost think it was meant to be.  My point is: I hope that the majority of Buzz listeners are OK with me being here on air everyday.  I thank you for putting up with me and appreciate all the nice comments many have made to me.  And, keep the calls coming in 2009 cuz Lord knows I need all the help I can get to fill 5 pressure-packed hours on the air everyday!

To those of you who read my blog regularly: why would you sacrifice your precious free time to read my aimless meanderings?  I guess you have lots of free time to blow!    Seriously, thanks for taking the time and for all the comments.  I do appreciate it.

Finally, this has been a brutal ending to the year for me and plenty of my close friends.  Not only is the economy in the tank for all of us, but alot of the people who are so dear to me have been exposed to some serious pain and heartache recently.  I am almost afraid to answer my cell phone anymore because lately it’s been bad news after bad news.  To those who are suffering, I wish you peace during the holidays. And we all need much better luck to start the new year.  I’ll keep my prayers and thoughts coming for you.  Just like I do everyday for our dedicated soldiers and their devoted family members.  I wish all of our courageous military members a safe holiday season.  Thank you for your sacrifice and service.  And a happy return to your family soon.  To all, a wonderful Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanza, Happy New Year, Happy St. Patty’s Day (hey, you can never celebrate too early for the greatest holiday) and all the best ahead for us all.  God bless you and God bless our troops!   

On Saturday’s I do my own show from 10am – 2pm here on 98.9 the Buzz. I like to leap over that decency line whenever I can, but sometimes I leap a little too far. This conversation I was working on Saturday was deemed as such…

I’m a loser because I invest my heart and soul into sports teams.  And the majority of the time, they crush my feeble heart. Notre Dame was bad enough this season in college football (losing to Syracuse?), but now I believe the Bills have sunk to a new low.  And, after attending games at Rich Stadium back in 1984 when we were absolutley horrible…..I guess I’m saying a lot when it could be a new low.  How could the Bills GIVE the game to the New York Jets in the last 2 minutes of the game yesterday?  All Buffalo had to do was get a first down, and run out the clock and they would get a sliver of  respect for upsetting the Jets and knocking them out of the playoff picture. But, that would be asking too much, right?  Marshawn Lynch was having a great game, running for 127 tough yards. So, with 2:06 left and second down and 5 to go, you want your best player to get the ball and run for the clinching first down, right?  Not if you’re Coach Dick Jauron, who decided to let QB J.P. Losman THROW the ball.  And of course, he drops the ball, the Jets pick it up and run in for the winning score!  Bingo….great play calling. Can someone please call Ralph Wilson in the Bills front office in Buffalo and recommend Coach Dave Nieman from Canandaigua Academy as the next coach of the Bills please?  I  know he’s only a high school coach, but c’mon….Dave would have made the proper call in that situation.  Hell, I was yelling at the TV just run the damn ball!  But, again…back to my point: I’m a loser!  I invest my heart into hope that somehow, some way the Bills will keep Brett Favre and the Jets out of the playoffs, and whack!  I’m smacked in the face and stabbed in the heart again.  Thanks for nothing J.P.  I was supposed to go to the Bills-New England game in 2 weeks, but I know I’ll be able to find something better to do than invest my time and energy into a Buffalo road trip that day.

So, I know I can’t count on my teams to help me during the holidays.  But we can count on our soldiers to do their best, make the right call, and protect us.  God bless our troops! 

Don’t know about you, but this has been an absolutely brutal week for your humble blogger/DJ/dumbass.  I am so freakin’ glad it’s over.  I’ve witnessed some serious heartache amongst my close friends this week…good people who deserve better during the holidays.  I wish them peace right now.  I end this brutal week on a hopeful note.  Hoping that things get better for my friends and their families, the economy improves for those who are hurting financially now, and that good things come to good people for the holidays.  I am also hopeful thanks to Sgt. First Class Jacob Allison of Livonia. He today is being awarded the Silver Star, the third highest medal of valor in the United States Army.  Jacob saved lives with his bravery in Afghanistan.  He is being recognized today by the Army at Fort Bragg in North Carolina, one of only 53 to be awarded such a high honor since 2001.  He’s just a kid, but already a better man than I can ever hope to be.  Thanks to Jacob for his service, and thanks to his family down off route 20A for providing such a fine young man to our military.  God bless Sgt. First Class Allison and all our of courageous troops who provide us with strength and hope during the holidays! 

First of all, we had Joe Brucato in studio yesterday. He was one of the best acts we’ve had in studio for Unsigned Talent. His music was great, but even better was his attitude. The minute I met this guy he felt like family! Check him out…

Also, I got an e-mail from Rachel in Baton Rouge, LA… check out the snow they got!!!!!

What a fun night.  Last night was our company Christmas party.  It is an event that everyone in the building looks forward to all year long.  It’s massive.  3 floors of fun, drinks, food, broadcasts, coworkers, clients, and all out ridiculousness.  This year we turned it up a notch with a live performance by Gavin Rossdale of Bush and of course a Guitar Hero party in my office.

I was correct when I predicted that I’d never actually TALK to Gavin, but I can offer up this picture of me standing next to him awkwardly for 3.5 seconds.

I look like an ass, I know.

Around 9pm, I wandered into the Buzz studio for a while to get on the air with my old friend Robinson.  About 15 people joined us in studio including the lovely Leslie, owner of Lovin’ Cup in Henrietta.  It seems that my friend Robinson has quite a crush on her.  It was pretty obvious that he did after he talked about his fascination with her on the air for about 15 minutes straight.  Here’s what THAT looked like…

After the (very sober) broadcast, I headed back up to my office and was thrown into a crazy rendition of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” on Guitar Hero.  The culprits:

Vocals: Philbilly, WCMF
Guitar: Megan Carter, 98PXY
Bass: Lumpy, WCMF
Drums: Me, and my hat.

A simple picture wouldn’t do it justice.  Enjoy the video…

Fast forward to this morning.  I had NO energy to clean my office before leaving last night.  Sooooo….I was not so shocked to find my office looking like this when I showed up today.

It looks like we had a good time…

Thanks to all  guilty parties involved.  I had fun. I hope you did too.

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My thoughts and prayers go out to a couple of families I’ve grown up with.  My buddy Dino Kay lost his dad this weekend.  Bob Kay was a quiet gentleman, a hard worker, great dad and grandpa.  He even installed my furnace in my home years ago.  He was 67.  My best to Dino and wife Tammy, along with my God son Billy and Dean Jr.  And condolences to Tommy and his wife Lisa and the kids.  Mr. Kay was a very nice guy, a gentle giant.  Luckily for me, I was able to visit him in the hospital in Canandaigua last Thursday night.  God rest his soul.

Also on Saturday, my friend Darryl Brown lost his beloved bride Becky at the very young age of 41.  Becky was an excellent mother of 3 beautiful children.  She was a huge Ohio State football fan who would always be riding me about my poor Notre Dame team.  She left us way too early in life. My heart goes out to Darryl, who now has to raise 3 little kids on his own.  He has a strong family support group.  I wish Becky peace.  God bless Bob Kay and Becky Brown.  And God bless our troops.  

I want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes this past Tuesday, December 2nd. I turned 27, meaning I am no longer in my mid 20’s and am certainly feeling more like an actual adult now. Its kind of a weird feeling but I like it, oddly enough.

My fiancee Jessi was amazing to me! She sent me a fruit basket at work and bought me dinner at the Olive Garden. She also got me an awesome hat that is a replica of one from the show “Firefly.” (CLICK HERE) See…

If you’ve never seen the show, they made a movie based on it called “Serenity.” (CLICK HERE) It was an awesome show that Fox canceled. Of course Fox is the same network that canceled Family Guy once upon a time, so that should tell you what kind of geniuses they are!

Jessi also got me a Flip Mino Pocket Video Camera!!! You can see it for yourself, and buy it if you want, by CLICKING HERE. I have a black base model and am VERY happy!!

As a result I will finnally be doing more video blogging… here is my first one in ma good while.. ENJOY!!!